Wednesday, January 27, 2010

those 3-5 seconds that I keep replaying

Now Playing: Better in Time - Leona Lewis

That's never good sign, when i start cranking out my "Crushing" playlist on my ipod, you KNOW somethings wrong. lately i've been thinking alot, and since i AM obviously a teenage girl, you already know that most of my troubles are about Boys.

Boys always complain about how complicated girls are but they are just as complicated. or do us girls just over complicate things that are simple. UGH things are so complicated.

but anyway back to the topic at hand. as you've read in the title, this is about something that happened within 3-5 seconds. those seconds thats still racing in my mind to this minute. those seconds that i keep repeating and over analyzing......

it all started about 2 weeks ago. and the fact that i like a guy. (I will NOT mention REAL names, but if hes reading this, he probably knows its him so w.e.)
anyway.... my friends and I were in our usual spot in the trainstaion. then a bunch of our junior friends came too (they were all guys by the way). Whenever they come, they always want to play truth or dare, and we usually play, but this time it was different...

My friend(who im calling "Chuck") is best friends with the guy i like (lets call him "Andrew"). But anyway, the news has just started to spread around that i like "Andrew", and unfortunately it also spread to my junior friends. So my friends "Mo", "Waldo" and "Chuck" decided to set me up. actually, they ALL set me up, but dont get me wrong, it was sweet but it wasnt for the right purposes.

im rambling... but yeah back to my story. We played truth or dare and we used an app on Mo's phone, since he was the only one who saw it, he pretty much controlled who did what and what they would do. Naturally, he first called Andrew's name, he said the dare was "Make Out Passionately with the 3rd female to your left" (which we all knew was BULLSHIT). Obviously that 3rd female was me. I refused to do it.... why? well i dont wanna force Andrew to make out with me because of a stupid dare that Mo concocted. so yeah, I moved as far as i can, but Chuck and Mo kept pushing him to me. I just gave up and i just stood there..... after a few seconds i felt a bump. Chuck and Mo were pretty much bumped our heads together hoping for a kiss. I thought this nightmare was over and it was for a few minutes cuz we moved on to other people. These other people where my friend Paula and Alex. This game was also ment for them because the word was that they liked each other, and it was obvious. Their dare was to make out too, but Paula said it was unfair cuz me and Andrew didnt do our dare. So we made a deal, if me and Andrew did our dare, then Paula and Alex would do their dare.


..... and this is where it begins. I obviously wanted to see Paula and Alex make out but, i had to make out with Andrew first. all that was going on in my mind was -_________-
But i stood up and just stood there...

i could still remember it... I remember Mo and Chuck on my left side all excited to see us do it. and the rest of our audience was to my right just anxious to see us... I came in closer, so did he and we kissed... we were about to make out until.. Chuck said "WAIT! LICK YOUR LIPS FIRST" We pulled away and i stepped back, I tried to convince everyone that that was it.... but they werent satisfied. (to tell you the truth, i wasnt either) so it took another 1 minute to get us closer. This was it, it was getting dark and this was out 3rd attempt. and you know what they say, "Third times the charm"... I closed my eyes and just went for it....

this was the first time that I EVER kissed anyone with my eyes closed, not ever with my previous boyfriends.

I could still remember every detail that was going on in my head... I was expecting music going off in my head (specifically I Wanna - The All American Rejects* which is playing as I type this,)
I didnt hear music, I heard nothing..... it was quiet and it felt like it was just the two of us. Then reality smacked me in the face, I remembered that the deal was to just make out for 3 seconds. I forgot all about the time limit until it was about 3 seconds in... then all these thoughts started racing in my head. "Is He into it?", "What was going on in his head?", "Does he know its just suppose to be 3 seconds?" all of these thoughts were in my head..... and the next thing that i know was i pulled away with my hand over my lips, i then walked as far away as possible from him but still close to my friends... It was over.................

The next thought in my head was it was Paula's and Alex's turn... but in the corner of my eye, i was trying to see Andrew, i was trying to see what was his expression, then Paula and Alex made out for a good time. until Eddie (one of my closest guy friends) ruined it. but when they were making out, all i was thinking. DAMN i shouldnt have pulled away from Andrew ... it was too late and the subway was coming. so we all parted our ways. but ofcourse Andrew took the same train as i did. i was glad that my house was two stops from where we took the train.

I know im breaking our cardinal rule which is "What happens in Queensboro, Stays in Queensboro" but no REAL names were said and so im safe. but i did have to just write this down or else its gonna blow up in my head. if i didnt, i would still be obsessing over it. and this is just my process of getting over Andrew i know its silly but this is how i am. this is how i move on....
.......

Now Playing: Why Didn't I - Honor Society
(this pretty much decribes my feelings)

well to anyone ACTUALLY reading this, this is basically my diary. and I hope you understand my LONG ASS post. I promise to post happier things from now on.

well until later khayThanksBye :/

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